Guilt attacks

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The moment when I flick from happily creating or day dreaming or faffing about to having a slight panicked and guilty feeling. It’s a bit like a mild panic attack, a mini freak out when I suddenly question what I am even doing and shouldn’t I be doing something else.

I had one of these yesterday morning, it was a Saturday morning and the house was tidy(enough), the washing was on the line and everyone was busy doing their thing and I was busy being creative, all set up on our dining table, happily creating , when suddenly I had this little guilt attack. I reasoned with myself, is there actually a reason why I shouldn’t be doing exactly what I want to right now? Is there such a thing as too much fun? too much me time? Am I just too self indulgent?

I managed to move through it and out the other side, but later I was thinking about when did this start. I don’t think I had them when I was single and living by myself, certainly not as a teenager. Was it after being married, or after having children, or is it more recently that I am having more time for me.ย  This definitely needs some more reflection, I’ll start with just being aware of when it happens. I think it’s important toย work this one out, I want to be a good example for my girls, I’d hope for them that they can pursue their dreams without mini panic/guilt attacks and I think it’s part of my creative journey, perhaps it’s just a little hurdle for me.

Anyway, I’m going to go now and hang out the washing and then start some guilt free creative time/ faffing.

Emily ๐Ÿ™‚

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11 thoughts on “Guilt attacks

  1. You are setting yourself up as a great creative role model for your kids. They need to see you play and create to know that it is something you don’t just do when you are kids, or at school. Even though my kids are older, I have explained to them that I need “me time” or I won’t be the easiest person to live with. They know a happy mum makes the house and life run alot smoother and happier. x

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  2. yes, I understand, Emily. I’ve had a few of those guilt sessions too and asked myself why. Like you, I never felt guilty doing my own thing when I was younger. I think the thing I struggle with is that it does feel self indulgent – even if I have done all the chores, and the extras, like baking, etc – to be faffing when everyone else is out doing their job. I have to remind myself that they have time off relaxing – going to the gym, watching movies, socialising, trawling the Internet – so I can too. If I was being paid to create then it would be my job and I wouldn’t feel guilty!

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    1. Exactly Carolyn , I remind myself of that too and the pressure isn’t coming from anyone else, I think we need to channel our inner teenager lol ๐Ÿ˜€

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  3. Great post and I think it’s great your girls can see you playing and creating. Setting aside this time I find hard too, and it always comes dead last after everyone and everything else…

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    1. Yes well it used to come last for me too, but basically I’m usually last it later in the day so these days I’m trying to put it closer to first. I even get up earlier ๐Ÿ˜Š

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  4. I suffer from this same guilt Emily. But I tell myself it is good for my children to see me being creative and having many more roles than just working mum. We are allowed to play too.

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  5. So true! Thank you for writing about this. A great reminder to choose how we feel about what we do, and to choose to feel good. We deserve to have as much fun today as any other day. Craft on!

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  6. Your definitely not alone Emily – I get this too. And I think for me it’s always “once everything possible boring chore is done, then I can do my fun stuff…” but in reality you never get to the end of the chores! Making time for creativity or just doing not very much is crucial for happiness and health, and thanks to the teachings of Pip and particularly Inspiration Information, I’m cutting myself some slack! xx

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    1. That’s right Rebecca, the chores are never ending. I’m glad you are cutting yourself some slack, I am too and I’m making time for creativity a priority. Pip’s course really was so inspiring!

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