Survival Mode :Hospital Life

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Major things are happening in our family at the moment and I realise that I have switched over to survival mode. I just turned on my computer( which had shut itself down), and waiting for me was my last unpublished blog post. I hadn’t even logged out. I had been writing it as I waited to take my husband to the Doctor. He was really sick, like two weeks off work, 4 doctors appointments and  multiple tests sick and I knew one way or another he was heading to hospital.

So I was writing a blog post as you do and I saved the draft and off we went. One hour later he had been admitted to emergency and was on a drip, 13 days later and he is still there and this is the first time I have touched my computer since then.

So the last two weeks are a blur( more tests, Chrohns disease/ulcerative colitis diagnosis, lots of medication,more tests, waiting ,more medication, more waiting).As I type this I’m wondering how he is this morning, what will his text say. Should I be hoping he says he is feeling a little better or preparing myself that he is the same or worse than yesterday. I will make another cuppa and write a list of what  actually need to do today. I will find the strength to be a rock for my man who has been my rock for so long. I will try( and probably fail) to put my grief to the side for the times I am around him and our girls. I will put on my brave face. I will walk to the hospital and climb the steps to the third floor coping with the stupid vertigo which has decided to return and keep me company through this shitty time. I will be grown up and strong. I can do this.

Soon I might need to make some difficult decisions about work, money etc, but not today. No, today I am going to drink too many cups of tea, give my girls extra hugs, do only what is essential, buy some organic dark chocolate, hang out in hospital with my man  as much as I can, help our youngest pack for her school trip, maybe do a little sketch or some art journal play and hopefully watch another episode of Gilmore Girls before I crash into the sanctuary of sleep and then do it all again  tomorrow.

My house will be untidy, my meal plan non existent, my blogging sporadic and my punctuation hopeless, I can’t keep up with blog reading of my bloggy pals blogs, or Instagram feed, I can’t seem to care as much about work stuff, but my family will feel loved and I will take some time each day for me, so that I can keep going…… I am in survival mode!

Take care,

Emily x

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21 thoughts on “Survival Mode :Hospital Life

  1. You keep doing what you need to do, Emily. Family is number one! Everything else will be waiting for you when you’re ready to come back to it. I know a little bit about Chrohn’s and ulcerative colitis and they are nasty. I am sorry to hear your husband is going through that and the flow-on effects that has for you and your family. If there is anything I can do at all, please just let me know – even if it’s just to have a chat about what’s going on to vent or to distract you and talk about something completely different. Sending hugs and positive vibes your way! x

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  2. That’s the way Emily. One step in front of the other. All the normal stuff can wait for when normal returns. Thinking of all of you during this difficult and worrying time.

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  3. It’s so hard being grown up! It’s hard to take it all in matter-of-factly when your insides are jelly and you just want to burst into tears. It’s hard to trying to keep some sense of normality for those in the family who are still well. You know I’m always here for IBD comfort! Just hope Steve can get on top of his flare as quickly as possible and move into the management phase xx

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  4. I’m so sorry to hear your husband is not well, Emily! I agree with your friends – all the ordinary stuff can wait – although I know how the ordinary stuff can also keep you grounded. Maybe it’s just about the small pleasures of dark chocolate and a quick sketch … I hope things improve for your lovely family soon.

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  5. It sounds like you’re doing absolutely brilliantly Emily……please keep taking some time for yourself, it really really is important & maybe a little pampering as well – a hot stone massage can do wonders! Here’s hoping that Steve is home with you all very soon now xxx,

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  6. Sorry to hear things are challenging and emotionally draining at your end. I hope everything gets back to normal quickly and Steve makes a quick and full recovery. Sending a big ((hug))) xx

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  7. So sorry to hear of your husband being sick…I know how tough it can be. My husband has ulcerative colitis but thankfully he has never had a big flare up. Hope your husband is feeling better ASAP and they can get on top of whatever is causing the issues. Big hugs xx

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  8. Lots of love to you and your lovely family Emily, I am very proud that you are making time to create and write and I bet your husband is too. Look after you and your family, we will all still be here when you are all healthy again!

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  9. You just need to do family right now. We’ll all be here. It’s difficult being the rock. You must be sure to take some time for yourself. I hope Steve’s condition starts to improve and life can return to normal soon. Love and hugs to you dear Emily. I’m here if you need an ear. xx

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